No matter what language I type it in; it all comes down to PANIC. An interesting side note before I ramble about my panic, the word panic derives from the Greek, pertaining to Pan, the god of the woods and fields, who was the source of mysterious sounds that caused fear in individuals and groups of people in lonely places. Pan's tactics would produce in people a sudden sensation of fear that would evoke a fight or flight reaction.
With the North Face 50 mile San Francisco looming, I find myself falling a victim to fear . The race is packed full of those that I will find myself on course with at Western States and I am at home sitting on the couch, eating and doing fast packing/fun runs. The worries start flooding my mind and body and my logical/rational thinking seems to quickly dissipate. Should I be racing? Wait a minute, before I even question that, should I be training? What will my race schedule be leading up to WS? What are my goals? Will I be plagued with illness or injury? Should I do more or could I do more? Am I panicking too early and fleeing the scene? Can I be patient enough to be smart and see this process through?
At this point the unanswerable question is, will all the pieces come together? Like any puzzle I should remember to take it piece by piece, but man I am bad at puzzles.